dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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