Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
