New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Randomize
