New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
