She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
