Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
