And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
