I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
