He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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