So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
