never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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