I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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