ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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