Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
