I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
