Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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