She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
