i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
