All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
