What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
