So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
