I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize