Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
