don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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