yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
