im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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