i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
