We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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