He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
