meet me or not, i'm out of control
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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