He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
