I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
