guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
