I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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