I heard we made out
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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