You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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