I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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