i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
