just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
