Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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