She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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