please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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