He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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