9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
