I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
