Small penises have feelings too.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
