I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
