even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
