They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
