Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
