fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
