There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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