She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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