i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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